Daughters

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers

I wasn’t going to write about this in-depth because of just how personal it is, but I’m going to try. Last week was extremely difficult for me, both emotionally and mentally. I’m still reeling from all the unearthed memories and feelings that I had to relive. All the thoughts about what my family had to endure, all the pain we felt.

I found out last week that my dad, who I’m estranged from, was arrested for rape.

I was beyond shocked and disgusted. Even worse was having to see his face again. To have to read his name everywhere. It was like being stabbed in the gut over and over. I never wanted to have to look at that man again, I didn’t want to know where he was living or working. I just wanted him to disappear from my life entirely.

Unfortunately, life usually has other plans in mind. So instead, I was treated to days of anxiously waiting for someone to message me about it, heart-wrenching conversations with my sister, obsessively refreshing webpages, and inner turmoil. Once again, this bastard has disrupted my life. He is like a leech, sucking you dry until you’re an empty shell. Until you’re as hollow and ugly on the inside as him.

The strangest part of the whole situation was seeing strangers talking about him. People who had no idea about what I’d suffered from because of him. Every single one of them hated him. I almost wanted to chime in and say how he has a history of violence against women. How he mistreated his former wife and 2 daughters. I didn’t though because it would’ve ended badly.

The thought that I share half of his DNA makes me want to vomit. I am the product of that monster. I could have turned out like him, I had the capability. It makes me feel like I have poison running through my veins. That no matter how far I run, I’ll never escape him fully because part of him makes up me.

Most of all though, it makes me angry. Once again, he has terrorized another female and destroyed their life. That’s his legacy – the trail of destruction he leaves in his wake. The tears and torment of the unlucky women he targets. My mom, sister, me and now this girl.

Enough. 

I hope he is locked away for years and they launch the key into the sun. No more people should have to suffer because of his black heart.

My wish for what people can take away from this is always be good to others. I don’t care if you’re having an awful day, never intentionally hurt another. Embrace love and understanding, shun all the negative emotions. At least as best you can. Life isn’t easy and there will always be trying times for everyone, but still try.

And to any fathers – please treat your daughters with respect, with dignity and love. Never let them have to go through what my sister and I did. Word of advice – your daughters are people. They aren’t and never will be your possessions. So treat them as such, as people.

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About diaday

I'm a young woman making my way through life one adventure at a time.
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3 Responses to Daughters

  1. secretangel says:

    Sorry that you suffered at the hands of your own father. Thanks for sharing. Your advice is so true. Praying for you.

  2. sexandthecincy says:

    My heart goes out to you. This was powerful and I felt all your emotions. Continue to be strong and be better than him.

  3. DougDoesLife says:

    I’m sorry to hear how you suffered. I have two daughters, both teens. One is my step daughter and is adopted, and the other is biological. I treat them equally. I’m lucky to have them in my life as we still spend the weekends rambling around together, doing fun things and just living life.

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