In lieu of Halloween approaching next week, I decided to write about a subject with the same atmosphere. That being something that might come as a shock to some about myself.

Despite my happy and colorful personality, I am quite drawn to dark things. This could be anything from simply depressing music to horror movies to drama/crime tv shows. Something is creepy/supernatural-ish/scary/sad? Well come on in, that’s right up my alley.

That’s probably why Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. It encompasses every dark thing possible and sticks a pretty bow on it. The morbid kid in myself is in heaven the whole month of October. Does that make me strange? Most likely.

It’s funny because my step-dad is the complete opposite of me. I’m perfectly comfortable watching shows that deal with topics of a darker nature and he actively avoids them. For instance, he was watching The Walking Dead with me and the whole time he ranted about how that stuff shouldn’t be on television, how it’s just wrong, and desensitizes you. Meanwhile, I’m just sitting there like, “Dude, what’s the big deal? It’s fake – not real.” I understand the concern about showing darker matters on television and what people are afraid it could cause. I’m completely opposed to the method of sheltering one’s self and purposely being ignorant towards them, though. Life isn’t only sunshine and happiness, it’s a whole spectrum of colors & shades. Most of the time those colors are black and gray. It’ s more damaging to only allow things drenched in rainbows and topped with fucking sprinkles. Our world isn’t some Lisa Frank folder, honey.

So what are some of my favorite dark things?

One of my longtime interests is my love of witches! I grew up in a time dominated by witchcraft in mainstream media. You had your Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Charmed, Hocus Pocus, Practical Magic, The Craft, Halloweentown, Harry Potter, Buffy, etc. The 90’s/2000’s were a goldmine for me! While everyone else always argues about vampires vs. werewolves, I just sit back and say, “witches.” They are literally the coolest and most powerful supernatural beings, who needs those loser vampires? Witches can light them on fire with their minds. Definitely the HBICs of the supernatural community. Mostly, I just wanted to be a witch and go to Hogwarts as a kid. (Ravenclaw pride!)

Another favorite of mine is my love of southern gothic music. The songs capture such a mood and it’s usually quite heavy. They have such a particular sound and presence about them. Here’s a playlist if you’re interested in listening to some:


I have a lot more that I love too, but those are just a couple examples. My fascination in the dark will probably never go away and frankly I’m okay with that. I’m still a happy person on a day-to-day basis and that acceptance of the gray doesn’t affect my life.

I do love my black clothes though… 

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Normalcy in a Mad World

There are people who are generic. They make generic responses and they expect generic answers. They live inside a box and they think people who don’t fit into their box are weird. But I’ll tell you what, generic people are the weird people. They are like genetically-manipulated plants growing inside a laboratory, like indistinguishable faces, like droids. Like ignorance.”
― C. JoyBell C.

If there is one word that I loathe most in all of the English language, it’s “weird.”

For as long as I can remember it has haunted me and been flung at me by countless people. Everything I did was an oddity, everything I enjoyed made me strange, and any belief I held was different. You would think I flew down in a spaceship and was some other-worldly creature. I was made to feel like an alien living in a world of normal people.

The thing is though – normal doesn’t and can’t possibly exist. At least not to me it can’t. In a world of 7 billion people where no human is the same, whether in personality or through actions or looks, to believe that there is one standard to follow is insane. There might be similarities because of shared genetics or copying others, but there is no normal.

So why do we feel the need to guilt others when they don’t follow an imaginary rule? I wish I had an answer to this. Unfortunately, I have no idea. Some say it’s human nature to shun “different” and that in order to survive its better to not stand out and blend in. Others might say that normal really does exist and these societal outcasts really are just that odd.

We are taught as children that we are all unique, one of a kind, “special snowflakes” and at the same time we are told to hide those individualities. God forbid another person find you slightly from the norm. How ever will you survive without the acceptance of your peers and complete strangers!?

So what made me so weird back then? One major thing was my interest in other cultures and countries. I am part of the anime generation. There’s a big portion of us 90’s kids that were obsessed with all things Japan. I definitely was – I watched the anime, collected hundreds of manga, decorated my walls in posters, thought I was worldly because I knew Japanese honorifics. Okay, so maybe it was slightly embarrassing. I was young though and that was own my experience to learn and grow from. It doesn’t give someone else the right to shame me because I so happen to enjoy something they don’t.

Well I have news for the world – we are all weird. Want me to prove it? Let’s take your hair color, well it’s one and only. No one else, but you has it. And your eye color? Yup, you guessed it – same deal. It might look brown, green, or blue, but it’s not. In fact, there is no name for your eye color because you are the only one who has it. That life of yours that you’re currently living? That’s one of a kind too. No one has or will ever experience it like you are. That makes you an anomaly.

Your very existence is odd, unusual, strange or in simpler terms – weird.  Just that alone should negate any semblance of “normal.” Every part of us is weird because everyone of us is different. And you know what? That’s perfectly okay.

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The Blogging Dead

Hello again readers, I’m back from the dead.

zombies-5Well okay…not that kind of dead, but I am back from a semi-semi-hiatus. If a couple weeks can really count as one. I hope you all didn’t miss me too much, that is if you even noticed I was gone. But alas, here I am!

A lot has happened in the past 2 weeks that has had me preoccupied mentally, so writing wasn’t even on my mind. Nothing too dire, mostly just figuring out my life. So, I apologize for my absence to any of you that look forward to my posts. No need to worry anymore though, I’m back (until I get distracted again and forget to write because I have the attention span of a 2 year old…).

Let me fill you in on some of the stuff that’s happened lately though! My wonderful niece Riley visited me a couple weekends ago and I taught her how to play the drums. She is going to be a little rocker when she grows up. 990499_10201998628077686_2140075142_oAlso, I went on a lovely bike ride today to get some much needed exercise and just wow- the view was amazing.

1372209_10202112889374147_1535248827_o 1388438_10202112879293895_183723427_oWhat else have I been up to? Hmm, I’ve been drowning in fall television shows. I mean holy crap, I probably spend all of my free time just trying to catch up on episodes. I added a whole new bunch of shows that sounded interesting to my roster. So that’s – The Walking Dead, Supernatural, Sleepy Hollow, American Horror Story, Legend of Korra, Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, Castle, and SHIELD. See why I have no free time? I’m most excited for tomorrow though, zombies and crossbows! I’m going to put on a fire, make some hot chocolate, and watch the Walking Dead while hoping none of my favorites die (Michonne and Carol. HBIC’s of the apocalypse, ya’ll can keep Daryl.)

How are all of you spending your weekend?

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Holy Leaping Liebster, Batman!

I can’t believe I’m saying this but, I’ve been nominated for an award! Thank you to the lovely Sex and the Cincy for finding my blog worthy enough of such a nomination. It means the world to me, so thank you very much once again!


  1. What is your favorite love story?

My choice is the beautiful relationship between the characters Chihiro and Haku in Spirited Away. Their love story was one of self-discovery and identity. They both found themselves through each other, protected each other, and supported the other. But mostly they confessed their feelings while plummeting to Earth…if that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

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2. Where is one place you’d like to travel?

I have always wanted to visit Italy since I was a young girl. Not only is it half of my heritage, but it contains some of the most beautiful cities. Also, the history! I need to see the ancient ruins for myself.

3. What would you eat if you had only a day to live?

Ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream.

4. What is one thing you want to accomplish before this year is over?

I want to get my own car and finally have some freedom.

5. What is a Sex & The City quote that is relevant to you (if you don’t know one Google!)?

Pretty much anything that comes out of Samantha’s mouth. She is one of my many spirit animals.  This is my favorite quote of hers: “When opportunity comes, I don’t question it. I grab it, drop its ring on the nightstand and swing on ’till dawn!”

6. If you were an ice cream, what would you be?

Ooh, I like this question. I would like to think I’m a red velvet flavor or maybe mint chocolate chip.

7. If your life was a reality show, what would you title it?

The Introvert Life! It features wacky situations like “Will Ariana put on pants today!?” and “What Netflix movie will Ariana watch today!?”

8. What is a proud moment in your life?

Probably graduating high school, it took a lot to get there and I did it.

9. If you could have a wish, what would you wish?

I wish I didn’t suffer from depression.

10. What is your most embarrassing moment?

The letter I got in the mail last year from my 4th grade self. I had wrote it 10 years before to my future self and forgot about it. It was so embarrassingly-funny. I’m cringing just thinking about it now.


Uh oh, every blog I follow has over 200 followers. What do I do? I don’t have anyone to nominate…

Questions to my nominees (or anyone who would like to answer): 

  1. What is your happy word?
  2. Favorite childhood memory
  3. What is one secret about yourself you’re willing to share?
  4. What movie best describes who you are?
  5. What candy would you be?
  6. One ideal career you wish you could do
  7. What do you regret most in life?
  8. What are you happiest about?
  9. Do you believe in astrology and if so, how well does it fit you?
  10. What is your favorite astronomical object? (ex. planet, star, solar system)

Now in order to formally accept this nomination:

  • Link back the person who nominated you (me!)
  • Answer the 10 questions which were given to you by the nominator (above)
  • Nominate 10 other bloggers for this award who have less than 200 followers
  • Create 10 questions for your nominees to answer
  • Let the nominees know that they have been nominated by going to their blog and notifying them
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❝ And like the sea, I’m constantly changing from calm to hell.” – Dallas Green


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World Gone Crazy

It’s official – my family is falling apart.

Probably not how you’re thinking though, healthwise we are. In the past 24 hours the following has occurred:

  • My niece was admitted to the hospital
  • My step-dad broke his nose
  • I continued to feel like crap

Talk about an eventful day. I know that my niece is at the best place she could possibly be, with doctors surrounding her. Still I feel so bad for her, she’s so little and has no idea what’s going on. All she knows is that she feels miserable, has strangers all around her, and is having needles shoved into her. She’s probably scared to death right now.

My poor bubbie. I wish I could get her out of there and hug her, make her feel better. My step-dad was a whole ‘nother story. He was riding his bike and completely face planted – blood everywhere. On his arms, face, clothes, the street. Ugh, just ugh. I felt like I was in an episode of SVU or something.

So today is going to be a long one, I’ll have to wait and see what happens with my niece. Keep her in your thoughts for me though.

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Day 08: She Moves in Her Own Way

Day 8: Discuss your first love and first kiss.

“Being single doesn’t mean you know nothing about love. Sometimes being solo makes you wiser.”  -Unknown

Young love. It’s a time of racing hearts, fluttering stomachs, dizzy senses, and heartbreak. Teenagers falling in love has been covered from Shakespeare to 90’s chick flicks. It’s people’s first forway into the world of relationships. Dipping one’s toe in a very deep pond.

If you ask me though, love is more like the Mariana Trench. Well-known, but still vastly unexplored. Scary and fascinating at the same time. An exciting adventure for some and a nightmare for others.

You might think I’m speaking from experience, but I’ll let you in on a secret – I’m not at all. My knowledge on love comes from my observation of others, hearing stories, common knowledge, and my own common sense. No lie, I’ve never been in love. Like ever. Never ever. Sure, I’ve had a few crushes here and there, but never such intense emotions to inspire love.

This makes love to me still foreign territory. It’s a strange concept, but also the one that makes most sense. Does love exist? Yes. Is it for everyone? No. Can you explain it? Kinda. Is it something you can see? Sometimes. Is it good or bad for you? Hell if I know.

On the flip side though, I have had a first kiss. A few first kisses, I suppose. I kissed my first boy on the cheek in 3rd grade and on the lips in 4th. Then I had many other kisses in college. To be perfectly honest, none of them were particularly noteworthy. They happened and that was it. I’ve never kissed someone and was left breathless or saw fireworks.

My love life is pretty uneventful, it kinda just chills there. Every once and a while it will nudge me and say, “So, when are we finally gonna date someone?” My reply is usually a shrug. “That’s cool, just let me know when. I’m going to go watch some Law and Order now. Later!”

At least that’s how it plays out in my head.

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All By Myself

You know you’re an introvert when your family almost breaks down your door because you’ve been in your room so long they think you’re dead.



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Cold, Cold Go Away

So I take back everything I said in my last post, I wish it wasn’t fall yet. Mostly because I have my first cold of the season and I’m seriously dying, tumblr_lw1eixoMCC1qhojr7o1_500

I suppose that’s what happens when you wish summer away and welcome the cold. The shift in weather brings an onslaught of runny noses and hacking. Still though, I wish I was anywhere, but work right now. All I want to do is snuggle up in my bed, eat soup, and watch Netflix movies.


I’ve done everything I can to boost my immune system and kick this cold’s butt. I’ve downed bowls of soup, taken Airbourne, rested in bed. Heck, I even sat in my hot tub for half an hour to hopefully open my sinuses. There’s not much left to do, but sit it out and wait for it to pass. I hope it clears up in the next few days because being sick sucks.


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24 Hours Are Not Enough

This week and last my playlists have been somewhat quiet, I’ve mostly been listening to songs from weeks ago as nothing new has caught my attention. Here is a quick list of some songs that might strike your fancy as they have mine:

24 Hours- Sunmi 

This is the first solo single released by Korean artist Sunmi, former member of the Wonder Girls. It’s quite different from anything I’ve heard lately and the video editing is superb.

Driving In Cars With Boys – Lana Del Rey 

This retro and fun song by Lana can’t be found on any of her albums, as it was leaked online a couple years ago. Despite this, it’s still a great song and deserves a listen.

Sex Dreams – Lady Gaga

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually enjoy this new song by Gaga. She performed it recently at a music festival and after curiously listening to it, its been stuck in my head. It’s just so 80’s pop and fun! Never thought I would like her again, but there you go.

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